J.A.B. 20.

vices and virtues.



cl4vicles:

faerysyzed:

jamiethemime:

alextimmons:

A liberal muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist.

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!”

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decisions made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.

”How old is this rock, pinhead?”

The arrogant professor smirked and smugly replied “4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian.”

”Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now.”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears.

The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Small Government” flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.

Semper Fi.
p.s. close the borders
p.p.s. That ex-SEAL was EINSTEIN.

SHARE THIS IF YOU LOVE FREEDOM.

AMERICA

the eagle’s name, oh my god.

“liberal muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor”

“pinhead”

“small government”

i’m crying omg

2777 notes
  1. harpieswithhandgrenades reblogged this from alcindora
  2. alcindora reblogged this from etreconnue
  3. etreconnue reblogged this from manilaryce
  4. darthjellybean reblogged this from manilaryce and added:
    THIS SHIT MAKES ME LAUGH MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE EVER
  5. thelaughingodradek reblogged this from wildborscht
  6. imsittinginatincan reblogged this from candysphynxprincess and added:
    I KNOW IT’S A JOKE BUT IT’S CREEPING ME OUT
  7. puzzledpeaces reblogged this from keewa
  8. dissonantwalrus reblogged this from wildborscht
  9. keewa reblogged this from kalafudra
  10. kalafudra reblogged this from candysphynxprincess
  11. wildborscht reblogged this from candysphynxprincess
  12. candysphynxprincess reblogged this from nonbinarycharliedalton
  13. mad-half-hour reblogged this from nonbinarycharliedalton
  14. invisiblespork reblogged this from assassinregrets
  15. scrumwolf reblogged this from pilarvon and added:
    One of my favorite things on the interweb.
  16. pilarvon reblogged this from thismeansgwar
  17. thismeansgwar reblogged this from hookah-matata
  18. iki-teru reblogged this from killerville
  19. asiancracker reblogged this from adamsmasher
  20. anhonestdrug reblogged this from typhonatemybaby
  21. figmentsandfactualities reblogged this from dorklyboheme
  22. dorklyboheme reblogged this from herbgardening
  23. riotsiren reblogged this from killerville
  24. tapiocanaif reblogged this from mmmcoconut
  25. actualpotatojill reblogged this from thestereotypicalshipper